Raps of Sherlock
by mk162rl8619
Summary: Different raps by different characters, right now Moriarty, Mycroft, Irene, Anderson, and Lestrade. If you have any requests or recommendations please review. :)
1. At the Top

You think you know me,

No one knows me,

Got problems that doofuses can't see,

I suffer from my changeability

Rising the price of my sanity

Wallowing in my mortality,

Obssessed with the finality,

And the death of all that come after me,

Idiots who think they can capture me,

Criminals who try to enrapture me

With greed who plead and scheme and dream

But have no imaginative mastery.

At the top (its so damn lonely)

At the top (I'm the lord)

At the top (the sky's a limit)

At the top (I'm so damn bored)

Refresh me on that little mantra,

That said be good because of Santa,

Well I'll be bad because you can't just,

Take a man and make him have to,

Follow you, unless you're me,

Then you can do just what you please,

I'm heaven-sent get on your knees

Watch the Westwood pay your fees.

I'm the man-oh wait I'm not,

I'm The Spider, I forgot.

Why don't you break this lock for me?

I pull the strings of this mockery.

At the top (It's so damn lonely)

At the top (I am lord)

At the top (The sky's a limit)

At the top (I'm so damn bored)

I'm sick of stayin' sick of playin'

Naming gaming death and mayhem.

It doesn't matter how you say 'em,

These words are true and gonna lay'em

Flat, splat, right on the mat,

Don't even try to run like that,

I won't get my own hands dirty,

I'm too young, just past thirty,

I'll just snap, spring a trap,

And now I don't give a crap,

Just throw him here, never fear,

We'll disappear when I finish this rap.

Chorus 3 x


	2. About the 'Lock

What's up, showtime, the name's Lestrade,

I hang with the fellow that's kind of odd

One morning woke up, oh my God,

There he was "don't mean to prod"

He said, "But dead man do no walking,

Those fools have a hard time talking,

So it's you that I've been stalking,

The man with the guns, who's been rocking

New Scotland Yard

So here's my card,

I'll stop you being a retard."

What? I'm so confused

What? The Lock's amused

What? I can't refuse

What? Do what you choose

_Donovan and Anderson melody_

He doesn't know your name-

He's practically insane-

He thinks it's all a game-

He'll cause you future pain.

_Lestrade:_

I first said no then I said yes,

Sniff-dog Andy's doing his best,

But the best of killers do not rest,

Death toll leaving me depressed,

I gave him a call and with a small

Chuckle he said I'll beat them all

He sat and solved it, just dissolved it,

Found our man, completely called it.

What? I'm so confused

What? The Lock's amused

What? I can't refuse

What? Do what you choose

_Donovan and Anderson melody 2 x_


	3. Croftin' It

I have a younger brother who causes me concern,

I promised our poor mother that one day we would learn,

To forgive and forget,

But that hasn't happened yet,

We despise one another he'd like me to burn.

So I go on 'croftin' it, croftin it

Long distance no resistance

Trying to hide my existence

'croftin' it, croftin it

No walking little talking

Just a lot of Mycroft-stalking

Croftin it, croftin it,

Govern-ment, e-quipment,

Not sure that's what Mummy meant,

Croftin it, croftin' it

He steals all my passes to go 'round VIP,

Trading cutlasses for detectivry

For sneaking and spying,

But still he's denying

That all his sass is futility

So I go on 'croftin' it, croftin it

Long distance no resistance

Trying to hide my existence

'croftin' it, croftin it

No walking little talking

Just a lot of Mycroft-stalking

Croftin it, croftin it,

Govern-ment, e-quipment,

Not sure that's what Mummy meant,

Croftin it, croftin' itSo I go on 'croftin' it, croftin it

Long distance no resistance

Trying to hide my existence

'croftin' it, croftin it

No walking little talking

Just a lot of Mycroft-stalking

Croftin it, croftin it,

Govern-ment, e-quipment,

Not sure that's what Mummy meant,

Croftin it, croftin' it

Mummy I'm sorry!...

I really really am...

But if you couldn't do it...

Why think that I can...


	4. Let's Have Dinner

As clean as possible...;)

Hey Holmes boys,

What'cha you doing tonight?

Want to have dinner?

The Woman's in the house its about to get real fun,

I'm dangerous enough by the light of the sun,

Hey Ice Man, hey Virgin, don't you wanna run,

Run with me just be free like a bullet from a gun?

Oh wait by be free I really meant in chains,

Ruled by me, the chick, the queen of all your pains,

I'll be careful don't you worry I usually refrain,

From any jeopardy to my wallet or my gain

So you see I'm a winner,

Do you think I'm a sinner?

You're looking much thinner,

Let's go to dinner.

Of course my price on paper is a fraction of the cost,

I snap a few quick pictures and by that action you'll have lost,

More than you ever ever could have hoped to gain,

And you will never never forget the mental pain,

So I'm tellin' you, you hire me you're basically insane,

Those who do cannot fire me I watch their spirits drain

They say I'm full of dirty tricks,

Well I am a Dominatrix

What they want from me's a mystery,

But peace of mind is history

So you see I'm a winner,

Do you think I'm a sinner?

You're looking much thinner,

Let's go to dinner.

Hey Holmes boys,

What'cha doing tonight?

Want to have dinner?

I'm not hungry...

Let's have dinner.


	5. The Woes of Sniff-Dog Andy

I'm so sick of getting beat,

It's so hard to be the worst,

I'm shuffling my feet,

And I think that I am cursed.

From the first Greg didn't like me.

And after it got worse,

Oh so much worse, you won't believe it

Being me is such a curse.

Turn your face, leave some space,

Don't be dumb, just stay mum,

Be a friend, jump off a cliff,

Get your head down and just sniff.

I've got a wife, yeah, but piranhas wouldn't eat her.

She's like an angry rhino but a wee bit meaner,

I've got a crush on Sally, but according to her tally,

She's paid for lunch too many times, she'll dump me in an alley.

Next time I ask her out, and she'll probably give a shout,

Say "Get your hands off, you hunchbacked ugly lout,"

I'm so sick of getting beat,

It's so hard to be the worst,

I'm shuffling my feet,

And I think that I am cursed.

From the first Greg didn't like me.

And after it got worse,

Oh so much worse, you won't believe it

Being me is such a curse.

I can speak some German but its never done me good,

It leaves my throat to burnin, like Finnish vodka would,

In black light, streetlight,

Light from burning wood,

I never quite look right, never quite look good.

Turn your face, leave some space,

Don't be dumb, just stay mum,

Be a friend, jump off a cliff,

Get your head down and just sniff.

Turn your face, leave some space,

Don't be dumb, just stay mum,

Be a friend, jump off a cliff,

**Get your head down and just sniff.**


End file.
